I’m a bit late writing this (it’s April 5th) because March was, for lack of better word, overwhelming. I didn’t get a whole lot done outside of work and my regular obligations, but that’s okay. This past month has been one big, annoying reminder that I have to be patient with myself and my not overestimate my energy or abilities. I’m thankful I have the space and the privilege to live a soft life, and productivity can take a backseat to more important things like health and rest. The lesson this month has been to slow down, to be okay with not always being busy, and to not think of myself as lazy for not being able to keep up some days.

Early in March, I went to see a neurologist about some debilitating nerve pain I’ve been having since November. Needless to say, I had been looking forward to this appointment very eagerly. She assured me it was nothing dangerous or progressive, just a pinched nerve, but unfortunately due to my fragile kidneys, there was not much to be done in terms of pain management. That’s fine with me, as long as my leg isn’t going to fall off or something. While I was in her office, I also decided to ask her about some vertigo I’ve been dealing with for years that has never been figured out. I told her all about my experiences with a previous neurologist, an otolaryngologist, an audiologist, getting an MRI of my brain, doing the awkward Epley maneuver religiously, and how none of it led to either an explanation for or relief from the dizziness. She observed me for a few minutes and finally, to my utter shock, told me I have strabismus, basically a lazy eye. She recommended I see a therapeutic optometrist. Serendipitously, I happened to already have an appointment scheduled with a therapeutic optometrist for the very next day.

At the optometrist’s office, she ran only a couple of short tests before confirming I have strabismus. She told me it was likely the culprit for the vertigo, and could probably be corrected with prism lenses, although it would be a costly and potentially very lengthy undertaking. I ordered the prism lenses with no hesitation. I’m so sick of the vertigo that I’d really do almost anything to make it go away, so it was an easy choice that I’m very grateful I was able to make. I’ll have to go back to see the optometrist every 4-6 weeks to get my eyes rechecked and possibly have my lenses remade as my eyes return to their natural position. We came to the conclusion that I must have developed strabismus after my accident in 2011, although it would be impossible to prove. The new glasses took a few weeks to arrive, but I’ve been wearing them for a little over a week now and they’re great. The dizziness has already subsided significantly, and I’m very happy with the progress I’ve made.

The highlight of March was my trip to Atlanta! I traveled to meet with my fellow IgAN Foundation ambassadors and receive our official training. It was such a fun and engaging weekend, and I’m so thankful for the opportunity to be a part of something so meaningful. All of us are working together towards a larger goal, and I know we’ll get there faster as a team. There’s so much to be said about the work in progress and the next steps, but I’d rather show the results as they come. And boy, will they. There’s a lot that’s already brewing that I’m excited to share.

When I got back from my trip, I had a long day scheduled for my birthday. I ended up cancelling for several reasons, but mostly I was just worn out from the previous few days. Things went downhill in my personal life pretty quickly after that (for unrelated reasons), and the stress ended up making me physically sick. It was really just seasonal allergies, but the stress made it ten times worse than it would really be. I was laid up for several days, congested and icky. I had to sit in a steamy shower just to get 30 minutes of relief each night before going to sleep. It was truly awful, and forced me to slow back down. My body and mind really needed the rest. I did have a hematuria flare-up due to being sick, but thankfully it was just for one night and then went right back to normal. I promised myself I’d protect my energy more closely, and I’ve been feeling much better since.

After I got better, my husband and I started looking for a new place to live—hopefully, our first home purchase. We don’t know how long it’ll take, and a lot of it is out of our hands since this is not the best time to be a home buyer, but I’m trying to trust the process and put my faith in everything always working out just as it’s meant to.

Kidney-wise, I have no reason to believe anything has changed since last month. I’m still having the same ol’ symptoms, maybe a sprinkle of extra flank pain lately, but generally I feel the same as I have been. My blood pressure randomly went a little high during my flare-up, but I think it was just the stress. I get lab work done soon, and I’m hoping to see another few points of improvement. For now, I think no news is good news.

I’ve got a couple more trips planned for April, but I’m being very cautious to pace myself and not get overwhelmed. I’m starting to feel more comfortable with asking to slow down or take breaks if I need to, especially in a group or work environment. I have always had a little issue with asking for accommodations for myself, but I’m being forced to get over it. I’m thankful for my self-awareness and ability to evolve and grow as a person in the face of my changing physical (and mental) needs. Happy 30th birthday to me! ♥